I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
