my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
