dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
