I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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