I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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