It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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