Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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