in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
