Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
