Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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