hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
