You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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