Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
