There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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