you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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