I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
