i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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