I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
