Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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