I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
...so i touched it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
