I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
