I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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