i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
