I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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