Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
