I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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