The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
