living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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