WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
