No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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