Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
