what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
