but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
