i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
