I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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