margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
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