So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
