Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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