the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I can feel your judgement through the phone
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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