I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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