Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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