Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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