oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
