Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
