Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
