Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
