i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
