I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
