You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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