We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
