...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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