We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
