Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
