Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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