Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
