Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
