kristin has been a bad kristin
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
