I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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